Monday, September 28, 2009

Why Is It...


That now that everything in my life is going so wonderfully I don't have a damn thing to post about???


This place has always been somewhat of an outlet for me...A place where I would come when things were going wrong so that I could vent...And drop "F" BOMBS...And have all of you to make me feel better!


So now I am happier than I have been in years and I've got nothing? WTF?


I don't want to get all sappy pants on you guys...I'm not sure you would like me as much.

I will let you know that I'm in love...

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Dear Stereos and Souffles and Rockin Hubby,

You were right...Always are!

She's just what I needed!

Thank you for delivering my 25 lb 32" bundle of joy Toshiba.

I've decided to call her Tosh.

We spent the entire night watching TV and infomercials and I'm STILL up...

Boy have we bonded!

She was a little insecure at first about being flat...but I think she's over it now.

Also...She referred to herself as "High Maintenance" but I have assured her that she's "High Definition" and that it's a good thing!

She has already helped me realize that change is good.

Rather than coming home from dinner to silence...

We had noise.

This kind of shit is good for me! Dontcha think? It's nice to throw my life for a loop every once and awhile...

Keeps me in check!

I mean hell I branched out at dinner by ordering a Key Lime Martini and you did as well with your Mango Fancy Pants whatever that was (pissed you didn't give me a sip) drink.

No worries...

You brought Tosh into my life...

You can catch me on the flip side with your rockin sangria...

Much Love,

Life Love and Lola

P.S. Tosh introduced me to and new kitchen gadget...The New Wave Oven Pro!!! And if we act now we can get it for NOT $129...but $39.99. I think we need it!






Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm Expecting...

No...I don't have a bun in the oven!

A new TV is being delivered to my home tonight courtesy of Stereos and Souffles and her Rockin Hubby! And I can't wait!

Did y'all even know that I have been without television for nearly two months??

Remember he took them.


Truth be told I haven't missed it all that much.


Okay...Okay...I've missed Sportscenter and Chelsea Lately...But otherwise I've been just fine.

So while I was thinking about this special delivery...It occurred to me that it has been awhile since I have had my very own TV. Like since college. I mean I always had a roommate or a husband that I had to share with.

And as much of a sharing person as I am...

I'm taking much pleasure in knowing that from this day forward I can come home from work and put on whatever the hell I want.

I no longer have to worry about the TV being monopolized by anyone.

It's mine all mine!

Unless Lola wants to watch Animal Planet...

I'm sure I'll give in...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I've Never Told Y'all About My Cat...

Probably cuz she's dead...But that's besides the point.

I rescued said cat in college from a parking lot by a dumpster and called her Garnet...

Except I spelled her name Guarnet...Well cuz that's how I thought you spelled Garnet (sounds like something Molly would do) and am still made fun of to this day.

Guarnet became known as "Guarnet The French Kitty" or friends would call my house "Chez Guarnet" to poke fun at me. Using a French accent when they referred to her with an emphasis on the "Guar."

She wasn't a real friendly cat...Actually she was a total bitch...And would slash you just for looking at her the wrong way at any given moment. She hated the dogs and would slash them too... She liked me though...So I kept her around.

You know how they say cats have 9 lives...Well it's true...At least in Guarnet's case it was.

The cat had multiple fights with skin cancer and multiple fights with wildlife as she was an outdoor cat.

The last fight of her career was with a fox...

She survived and had to undergo a very big and costly operation leaving her with multiple stitches and a lampshade around her neck to keep her from licking her incisions.

During this time that she was laid up from her surgery I came home one night to find her floating in the pool...She should have drowned but the lampshade kept her afloat...

Guarnet was a fighter and refused to die...

A couple of years ago she developed a large mass in her belly. My Vet said it wasn't good and that it was time to let Guarnet go...It was a very tough decision but I decided to put her down. I ended her life.

The reason I'm telling y'all this story is because a few days ago I was bringing a box filled with stuff that I was getting rid of to the dumpster...

For some reason I decided to look through it one last time before chucking it in.

Glad I did cuz in the bottom of that box was the little teak box that holds the ashes of my Bitchy and Beloved Guarnet.

I almost threw my fuckin cat away!

The irony is that had I done it her life would have come full circle being that I found her by a dumpster...




Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Suck...

I know!

We have had an unusually busy week at work and I haven't had much time to blog or check up on what's going on in all of your little worlds. I'm gonna get on that here pretty soon...Just not today.

Also, I've started a part time job on Saturdays doing photo shoots with a photography company...And NOOOO I'm not laying sprawled out on the hood of a sports car in my bikini...

Things haven't gotten that bad!

I'm helping with sports photography of pee wee athletes...And they are so stinkin cute!

My little sister landed back in Florida yesterday and I think I slept better just knowing she was back and under my parents roof...

Or maybe I slept better knowing that my mom's level of CRAZINESS most likely decreased by half...She won't be completely free of her crazy until my divorce is final. Which by the way should be soon.

Speaking of crazy...

Other than my life being crazy busy...

That someone that's making me smile...I'm crazy about him too.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Multiple Times A Week...


I make trips to the bank to make a deposit for The Clinic.

Typically I walk...Cuz it gives me a break from the old people...and it's another one of my efforts to be more green.

However if it looks like rain...I'm forced to drive.

Today was one of those days.

It never fails that when I'm exiting the drive thru I always nail this BIG ASS sign that reads "Watch For Pedestrians" with my side view mirror.

Personally I think the sign should read "Watch Out For Your Side View Mirror"

Cuz I've never nailed a pedestrian...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I haven't Fallen Off The Face Of The Earth...


I'm actually floating on cloud 9...And it's really difficult to blog from way up here!

I think the altitude has gotten to my head and has resulted in my not coming up with anything funny to say.

So stay tuned...

Something funny is bound to happen soon...