Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I've Never Told Y'all About My Cat...

Probably cuz she's dead...But that's besides the point.

I rescued said cat in college from a parking lot by a dumpster and called her Garnet...

Except I spelled her name Guarnet...Well cuz that's how I thought you spelled Garnet (sounds like something Molly would do) and am still made fun of to this day.

Guarnet became known as "Guarnet The French Kitty" or friends would call my house "Chez Guarnet" to poke fun at me. Using a French accent when they referred to her with an emphasis on the "Guar."

She wasn't a real friendly cat...Actually she was a total bitch...And would slash you just for looking at her the wrong way at any given moment. She hated the dogs and would slash them too... She liked me though...So I kept her around.

You know how they say cats have 9 lives...Well it's true...At least in Guarnet's case it was.

The cat had multiple fights with skin cancer and multiple fights with wildlife as she was an outdoor cat.

The last fight of her career was with a fox...

She survived and had to undergo a very big and costly operation leaving her with multiple stitches and a lampshade around her neck to keep her from licking her incisions.

During this time that she was laid up from her surgery I came home one night to find her floating in the pool...She should have drowned but the lampshade kept her afloat...

Guarnet was a fighter and refused to die...

A couple of years ago she developed a large mass in her belly. My Vet said it wasn't good and that it was time to let Guarnet go...It was a very tough decision but I decided to put her down. I ended her life.

The reason I'm telling y'all this story is because a few days ago I was bringing a box filled with stuff that I was getting rid of to the dumpster...

For some reason I decided to look through it one last time before chucking it in.

Glad I did cuz in the bottom of that box was the little teak box that holds the ashes of my Bitchy and Beloved Guarnet.

I almost threw my fuckin cat away!

The irony is that had I done it her life would have come full circle being that I found her by a dumpster...




16 comments:

Lisa Anne said...

Great tribute to your cat. I just got a kitty, I've never been a cat person. I think I'm in love!!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Oh goodness, you're hysterical! But isn't that crazy you almost threw her in the same place you found her. Full circle is right.

Stereos and Souffles said...

Don't confuse her box with your ashtray...

PaperCourt said...

I never knew of this cat with the misspelled name. Love it!

edder said...

So is she going on the mantel next to the Pier 1 candles? Where are you going to put said box?

Since you've moved and embarked on a new chapter in your life, perhaps Guarnet can be a visual reminder of that.

Heather said...

Circle of life, nice! I hate cats (no offense) but seemed to have the same situation when I was growing up at my parents house. Damn cat wouldn't die, as a matter of fact, still alive. We love her now, though, for all 9 lives.

S3XinthePantry said...

Oh! Glad you found her!

Life On The Tail Of A Comet said...

When she stayed here, we either called her the jumping cat- because she loved the trampoline or the garden cat-she hated being inside (we tried to keep the emphasis off the random slashing when we weren't doing whatever right)

Always Organizing said...

What a story! My cat Lola sounds a lot like her, a real bitch who hates everyone except me ;)

tori said...

came over from SITS! I'm a total cat person, love how they let you know how they really feel. great post!

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

That's hilarious. I used to have the bitchiest rat terrier you've ever met & miss her personality dearly.

What are you going to do with Gaurnet now that you've been reunited?

Life, Love And Lola said...

Guarnet is in my bedroom on the second shelf of my bedside table...Sitting on top of Mason my German Shepherd that passed before I got Lola.

Boy would she be pissed if she knew she were that close to him.

3L said...

I really appreciate an honest pet lover. So many people either don't get the connection between pets and humans while others almost worship them. My cat is a slasher but I love him as is. He's taught me to stop being touchy and invading others space. He's also taught me to stand up for myself and dominate when necessary.

Glad you have loving memories of you bad ass baby.

FROGGITY! said...

glad you found her!!

sorry, but this post CRAX me up.

Life in Beverly Hills said...

Sorry but the swimming pool incident is hilarious.

Glad you found her before you threw her away.

My cat is sitting in a plastic bag, in a plastic container, in a paper bag on a shelf in my basement. I get it.

Molly said...

L,L&L
Was that the duck tape cat??