Friday, November 28, 2008

Dear Recycle Man,

Tomorrow morning when you approach my house PLEASE do not judge.

It may appear that I have a problem...

But I can explain.

The reason that both my bins overflowath is because I hosted girls night, have entertained neighbors, and hosted Thanksgiving all since you were here last.


P.S. You should know by now that I don't drink Miller Lite. Which accounts for more than half of a bin.

P.S.S Could you do your best to dump those lightly so that we don't wake up the entire neighborhood?

L,L & L

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Gobble Gobble


Monday, November 24, 2008

Not The Most Effective Way To Meet A Fireman...

There are sure ways to meet a Fireman.

Like maybe The Annual Fireman's Chili Cook off, Or perhaps stealing a neighbors cat and chasing it up a tree.

Catching a ten foot drapery in your house on fire however, will not do the trick.

The Scene: My house. Girls Night. Eight girls on their way.

Girlfriend #1 arrives.

I hear her out in the driveway and walk outside to assist. Apparently when I opened the front door to exit there was some sort of vacuum effect and the drapery blew out the slider and onto the lanai catching fire on a candle.

Under a minute later first friend to arrive and I are back in the house...

Within seconds I notice the fire and start screaming!

Holy shit! That had to be the scariest moment of my life.

And what do I do??? PANIC!!!


They teach us at a young age that if WE are on fire... TO,STOP,DROP & ROLL...

But they don't teach us what to do when our draperies catch fire.

Fortunately, while I'm frantically running around searching for the phone to call The Old Man next door and the fire alarm is blaring because I don't know what to do...

Girlfriend #1 has smothered the fire with her favorite blanket.

Apparently she learned more in Girl Scouts than me!

So, there you have it.

Great weekend.

We'll just call it "Girls Gone Wild: Up In Smoke Episode."

The house is still standing. I'm just missing a window treatment. Girlfriend #1 is missing a blanket.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Dear Santa,

This year I'm only asking for one of two things.

A fire extinguisher or a fireman.

Much Love,

Life, Love & Lola

More on this later. Off to my parents for the Bucs game.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Old Lady That Made My Day

Today at work I had a patient grab me and give me the biggest hug while whispering in my ear that she thought I was so cute and she wished that I was her daughter!

Sometimes these old people catch you off guard!

Oh, and then she went on about my big brown eyes.

How sweet is that?

So, Dad and Mom and my parents next door if y'all are reading this...

You've got some competition!

Or, if you decide you're done putting up with my shit don't fret...

I've got someone else who wants me.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy Feet

One of the things that I love about the cooler weather is getting to wear my knee high boots. I'm sure all of you are shocked that it's shoe related. Right?

Anyhow, with knee high boots comes socks...

So while I'm prancing around the clinic today in my black knee high beauties and the OLD PEOPLE are attempting to rattle my nerves. I will smile to myself knowing that within these boots are a couple of happy feet wearing black socks with white polka dots and green sparkly Christmas trees all over them. And nobody knows but me!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Saturday Search Term Fun...

Okay I know I said I wasn't going to mention the panty thing EVER again, but...

Someone landed in here by googling I FOUND PANTIES IN MY HUSBAND'S CAR.

You poor thing! I feel your pain. What did YOU do? Hopefully you freaked the fuck out and reacted completely irrational like I did! If you did, good for you! Any actions you took after finding those panties is totally justified! Unless you're in jail now. Hope not.


Hope this isn't an actual recipe. Again, whoever you are I feel your pain. Lola does too. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT buy this food for your pup. You both will pay. BIG TIME.

So I'm not the only unfortunate one who had to deal with both of these traumatic occurrences.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm Not Dead...

Just really busy!
Between work and partying...
I can't keep up.
Maybe I need an assistant...Any takers?

The past two weekends have been filled with

A Rockin' Bachelorette Party out at the beach with some of my best girlfriends(girlfriends since middle school so you can only imagine the silliness that occurred)

Wine, Woman & Shoes charity event at The Ritz Carlton (lots of wine, good food and shoes I couldn't afford)

A Beautiful Beach Wedding down in Boca Grande (same group since middle school, champagne began flowing at 2:30 which I totally blame for my fall on the dance floor and the two bags of Munchos I inhaled after the reception)

So that's why I've been MIA...

I'm not dead

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Call Me Crazy If You Want...

Some people already do.

Mainly my out-laws...But as you know, I don't give a shit what THEY think!

I have two of my five Christmas trees already up and decorated.

Nuts? No! Christmas makes me feel good! Another form of "Free Therapy" if you will.

The Old Guy and his Not So Old Wife came over on Monday night per my request to get my outdoor tree out of the attic (remember I don't do ladders). They didn't even question. Or mention the fact that I was completely skipping a holiday in between Halloween and Christmas. They just did it cuz they knew. They know how Christmas makes me feel. That my friends is true friendship!

And no, I'm not skipping Thanksgiving.

I give thanks everyday!

So why decorate?

Besides, gourds are boring! So Not Fun!

So move over all my precious skulls, spiders, witches, rats and bats. I'll see you next year.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween 2008

Off to the beach for the weekend...

But I'll leave y'all with these pics.

Everybody Stop What You Are Doing!!!

I have a VERY IMPORTANT Announcement!

I beat The Old Guy on the court! Not once....TWICE!

Mark that off my list of life goals. HA!

Do you hear me Old Man? If not, turn up your hearing aid. I BEAT YOU!!!

I've informed the Old Guy that I expect him to tell EVERYONE he sees that I beat him.

I mean EVERYONE! Friends, neighbors the person in line behind him at the grocery store...Everyone! And if he doesn't comply with my request...

I have the ultimate threat hanging over his head.

When the time comes to place him in a nursing home, we will put him in a ALL MEN'S Facility! Which would drive him absolutely nuts! Cuz he doesn't like most men.