Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Are Y'all watching?

The Australian Open

Now that's good tennis!

I do have a problem with Serena though...Get rid of the big earrings!

You will be a lot quicker.

If you lose, it's because of those BIG ASS HOOPS!

Lose the earrings and play the game.

You'll win.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Lost butterflies!

If found please return to Life, Love & Lola.

Last seen with us and an extra 5lbs.

We lost the 5 lbs too.

But we don't want those back.

You can return those lbs to one of those skinny bitches in VS catalog.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Trust is VERY IMPORTANT to me...

If you lose my trust, you lose me!

I haven't been ignoring y'all this weekend. I wish I could report that I was off doing something fun. I wasn't. I was on a rescue mission.

I got a call from one of my Best Friends. I could tell from the way she said "Hello" that something was wrong.

She had just learned that her husband of almost twenty years has been having an affair for the last year. So I dropped what I was doing, packed a bag, shipped Lola to her Grandparents and headed her way. Cuz that's what Best Friends do!

I'm angry. I'm sad. I hurt. And she feels the same, just 100 times worse!

There is nothing worse than seeing someone you love in so much pain! I ache for her and I ache for her precious children.

And I'm pissed at this man for doing this to my friend.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Weather Man Says...

There is a 10% chance of snow an hour North of where I live tonight!

WTF? SNOW!!! Here in The Sunshine State!

Seriously, I was on the beach two days ago and now snow?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I've Loved Enough To Know...

That I WILL love again.

I'm a firm believer that there is more than ONE FISH in the sea for everyone. That it is possible to have more than ONE SOUL MATE. Just like it's possible to have more than ONE BEST FRIEND. More than ONE MOM. More than ONE PERSON that treats and loves you like you are their own.

I've decided I'm getting rid of the number ONE.

*Edited to add* More than ONE DOG who you think is the best dog ever.

Dear Anonymous,

You will notice where your once not so nice comments were there is a message that states "This comment has been removed by The Blog Administrator."

That's me! I AM THE BLOG ADMINISTRATOR! At least I am of this blog! I have the power to delete your shitty remarks in here. Too bad I can't delete some of the shitty things you've done and said in real life... If life were only that simple.

Didn't your momma teach you that if you don't have something nice to say keep your mouth shut? Or treat others as you wish to be treated?

If you have so much to say, start your own damn blog!

I have a fab idea...Let us come up with the name. Lets see...

Maybe... "Lying & Living" or "Lies, Lies and More Lies" or "Panties & Ponderings"

Seriously, start a blog. It's free and it will be a good outlet for you. Your own special place where you can say whatever the hell you want. And best of all, if I choose to read it and comment...You can delete me too!

Life, Love & Lola

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

For Ace...

Helpdesk Ace requested a picture of Lola. Your wish is my command Helpdesk Ace. Just cuz you make me LMAO and I heart your blog!

I actually posted one of her at some point last year...And chose not to post too many more as I had this fear that she would turn up missing.

That's me, Lola, Life On The Tail Of A Comet and Sultan (my parents Sheltie). I use to call him SATAN, but he's become a lot nicer in his older years so now I use his given name...And he's down to only one front tooth so I don't think he could do much damage anymore.

And while I'm giving "SHOUT OUTS"...

I have two blogs for you to visit.

Stereos & Souffles : She's a newbie to The Blogging World and a friend since the 7th grade (don't you dare ask her any questions about me...she knows it all)!! and Paper Court Ponderings formerly known as Magnolia Mama (the one who redecorated this joint). She pulled a Prince on us and changed her name. Also, a lifelong friend...Don't ask her anything either! Both of their blogs are FAB. A lot cleaner than mine (don't let that fool you though) as they are geared towards their businesses.

And if they do ask S&S or PCP (hey that's a drug)...Pinky Swear you won't peep a word!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Something I've Never Told Yall...

Is that I'm the proud owner of a metal detector.

Consider yourselves special...Cuz I don't share that with everyone (I just don't think people would take me seriously).

A couple of years ago I decided I was going to become a "Treasure Hunter." So, I decided that I needed a metal detector.I assured my husband that I would use it, that I had to have it and with all the gold and rare coins that I would be finding it would quickly pay for itself.

To date...I've found 63 cents. Well I've actually found more than that, that is just all that was worth keeping.

I haven't brought it out in awhile. As it annoys the shit out of my father and I don't think is any longer welcome on beach get togethers. One time I brought it to a family picnic and am quite certain that he emptied the change from his pockets just so I would get excited about my 27 cents and turn the thing off.

Anyhow, yesterday I get a call from one of my girlfriends... She wants to come down with her hubby, her daughter and go to my beach and find treasures!

YAY! Now this is a lifelong girlfriend (since 7th grade). She was also my college roommate and is responsible for saving my life when I nearly caught my house on fire (yes, she did bring me an I finally have one!) That being said... She's the type of friend that you can confess to that you own a metal detector.

Her reaction...She was excited! So now we're both excited! A treasure hunt it is! We borrowed a second one from The Old Guy next door (the type of person you would expect to own one) and we're off to the beach.

I wish that I could tell you that we found something great. We didn't. A nail, a screw, a broken pair of sunglasses, 6 bottle tops and a button. All of which we gift wrapped and gave to The Old Guy as a "Thank You" for lending us his equipment.

What we did find though was ourselves buzzed in the hot tub, talking about old times, being silly and calling old friends.

That to me was worth more than another 63 cents! Times like those are life's little treasures!

Two things I learned from our treasure hunt:
1. I live near a very clean beach.
2. The economy must really be in the shitter if people are keeping that tight a grip on their pocket change.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I had a "ME DAY."

My first day in a long time with ME and ONLY ME!

Know what I learned? I'm damn good company.

I awoke this morning and got shit done.

Did the dishes, the laundry, cleaned the house, brought the trash out (shoes still in there thankyouverymuch) and watered the plants.


I went shopping. 1 new tennis skirt, a pair of shorts and a Christmas stocking (beautiful and on sale. For who I don't know...Maybe my next dog...I'm considering getting Lola a buddy).

No new shoes though...I am eyeing a pair of Via Spigas that are SO me, and would SO make me forget about the pair that the trash men took today. They are on clearance, but I am still looking at Hawaii in my future and trying to save.


Grocery shopping. Boring I know. I did get hit on though.


A two mile walk and I watched some tennis up at the club.


I'm just out of the hot tub. I'm drinking a glass of wine and sharing my "ME DAY" with all of you.

They say...

Whoever in the hell "THEY" are...

"That you can't be happy with anyone, unless you're happy with yourself."

I say...

"I like you self! Thanks for spending the day with me!"

*ETA* I wrote this entire post while listening to my wedding CD that we gave out as party favors compliments of Stereos & Souffles.

It's been awhile since I've listened to it. It made me too sad. Tonight I'm smiling while listening...

Cuz there WERE a lot of happy times...And... He allowed our "cake cutting" song to be sung by Adam Sandler! I forgot about that... That will always mean the world!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Close Your Eyes...

And think about your favorite pair of shoes...

Not necessarily your cutest or most expensive shoes, but your "Go To" shoes.

You know the ones that go with EVERYTHING. The ones that you wish when you bought them, instead of buying one pair in every color... You wish you would have bought five pair in every color?


Well, I wore THOSE SHOES today.

At some point during the day I looked down at those once precious beauties, and boy had they seen their better days. I was pretty embarrassed that I even wore them into work!

I said to myself...

"You know Life, Love and Lola it's time to say goodbye. Every time you wear these you say it's going to be your last and that was at least 6 (or 12) times ago!"

And then I said to the girls at the clinic

"If you ever see me in these kicks again, take them off my feet and make me go home barefoot!"

Seriously, I think I've operated on those shoes with scissors and hot glue at least 3 times trying to revive them.

Anyhow, THOSE SHOES just went in the trash. Sad I know...

But in keeping with my New Years Resolution "To Be Happy" I had to find the good in all of this.

1. That frees up some room in my closet for another pair. YAY!
2. The trash men don't come until Saturday so I have two nights to sleep on this decision that I've made, and have the option of dumpster diving if need be.

Monday, January 5, 2009


Believing in Yourself
standing for what you believe in
regardless of the odds against you
and the pressure that tears at your resistance
means courage.

Keeping a smile on your face
when inside you feel like dying
for the sake of supporting others
means strength.

Stopping at nothing
and doing what you
know in your heart is right
means determination.

Doing more than is expected
to make another's life a little more bearable
without uttering a single complaint
means compassion.

Helping a friend in need
no matter the time or effort
to the best of your ability
means loyalty.

Giving more than you have
and expecting nothing
but gratitude in return
means selflessness.

Holding your head high
and being the best you know you can be
when life seems to fall apart at your feet
and facing each difficulty with
the confidence that time will bring
you better tomorrows
and never giving up
means believing in yourself.

-Mary Ellen Joseph

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Just Had To Share This One...

In case y'all didn't know my mom is a crazy Spanish women. She just called me regarding The Asshole Neighbor post.

And so the conversation goes...

Her: I can't believe that asshole. I'm very protective of my children and this just infuriates me!

Me: I know. He's just a dick. Didn't you like The Old Guy's Wife's idea though?

Her: No. Why fuck up a perfectly good flower. We're making him brownies... Get out The Jiffy mix, I'm coming over.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dear Assholes Nextdoor,

Why can't you be more like The Old Guy and his Not So Old Wife?

I'm not asking you to be JUST like them...that would make you perfect neighbors. However, you should aspire to be MORE like them in 2009.

I noticed that you planted some new shrubs yesterday.

Which I think are ugly by the way.

Anyhow, in doing so I guess you discovered poop in your bushes. Was it really necessary to shovel all of that poop and put it in a pile by my doorstep? If your goal was to have me step in it...I didn't! And what makes you so sure that poop belongs to me?

You only live here part-time(being that this is your third home). How do you know whose poop that is?

I can assure you that my dog or myself did NOT shit in your bushes!

The Old Guys Not So Old Wife's idea is for me to shovel it into a box, stick a flower in it and put it back on your doorstep. I like that idea...But I don't think you deserve the flower.

Instead I'm just going to let it go.

Y'all SUCK! Go back to wherever it is you come from a few times a year.

Life, Love & Lola

P.S. Why are your teeth all rotten looking? I thought you were a dentist.