I JUST...

Saved a ton of money on my health insurance...

By dropping my husband!

(You've got nothing on me little Gecko)

I have STILL insured him to the tune of $400 to $600 dollars a month (depending on the number of pay periods) up until tomorrow. Crazy I know...But there was NO WAY OUT!

Until tomorrow!

Each year we are offered the opportunity to make changes...

I made mine!

And since I was in a "Deleting Mood"...I deleted quite a few numbers from my phone...

You know people that I no longer talk to or that annoy the shit out of me...

I Deleted those people... JUST.LIKE.THAT!

Also...I cleaned out my closet and am selling fancy purses that I don't use on eBay.

And... yesterday I had another 4 inches cut off my hair.

AND IT ALL FEELS GOOD!!!

I'm In Love...

With My New Countdown to Hawaii!

You see it over there -------->

Right??

So y'all will be counting down the days with me...

That would be compliments of Stereos & Souffles

She ROCKS!

Shannie & Dana,

Since y'all are both PREGO...

I'm gonna start drinking for 5!

Is that right?

Yep...2+2+1=5

Dear Old Guy,

I know it's not very likely you will get this as you are off cruising The Caribbean with your Not So Old and Very Beautiful Wife...

I have a plumbing issue under my sink...AGAIN...And it stinks!

Also...

My irrigation system is fucked up.

I have 5 light bulbs out...that require a ladder!

My Bougainvillea in my front walk nearly poked my eye out this morning and if it's not trimmed soon I think it's going to attack!

The Neighbors across the lake are OUT OF CONTROL (I need "My Nancy" to use her BIG GIRL voice to shut them up).

And I think there is a snake in the vicinity.

So put down that drink with an umbrella in it and come home!

We need you!

Miss you guys,
L,L &L

P.S. You had 500 bags of mulch delivered that are sitting in your driveway. Am I suppose to do something with those? Hope not...

I'm Quite Certain...

That Someone tried to blow up Lola's Place today!

The Fucking Nerve!

I received a comment from an anonymous (NOT THAT ANONYMOUS) that was written in Japanese.

At first I thought it was Molly...Which resulted in me calling her Polly...Cuz that's what I call her when I'm mad...She assured me it wasn't her...But if I was up for bringing her to The Japanese Steakhouse she was game.

Anyhow...If you get a comment in Japanese...

DO NOT...I REPEAT DO NOT open it. Cuz they are trying to bomb you.

I ended up with pop up porn that simply does me NO GOOD...At least while I'm at work it doesn't!

And listen here Japanese Anonymous Fucktard...

What do you have against Lola and I?

Don't make me get my chopsticks!

I Have A Confession...

I've been cheating on y'all with Facebook.

I SO wasn't going to do the Facebook thing...But my friends talked me into it.

And I've never been good with peer pressure!

Truth be told I like Lola's Place better than Facebook...I can drop more "F" Bombs here.

Anyhow...Things are good. I had a FABULOUS weekend and I'll leave it at that. K?

Dad got back in town tonight and we have a date tomorrow.

Life is good.

I do have a bit of writer's block...So could someone tag me...I need something!

Things That Made Me Smile This Week...

* All of your sincere comments and kind words. Thank you so much!

* Knowing that I now have one more Guardian Angel looking out for me.

* I made a new friend...And he's funnier than shit!

* I get to celebrate "My Nancy" tonight (The Old Guy's Not So Old Wife) It's her birthday... Well actually it's not until the 23rd...SHH don't tell her I told you.

* My boss sent me flowers.

* Our patients just keep getting funnier and funnier. And the longer they are with us the more open they become. Seriously, I had to endure "Sex Talk" with an almost 80 year old...TOO MUCH INFORMATION DUDE!

The Phone Call I've been dreading...

Happened 30 minutes ago.

My Grandfather died today... And my heart aches!

So keep My Nana in your prayers...Cuz he was HER WORLD!

My Dad flew out this morning to comfort his Mother...Keep me in your prayers too cuz he's gone for a week...And boy do I need him!

Free Concert

This is a guest blog from Stereos & Souffles:

So I invite LL&L over for a quiet night of gumbo and girl talk. We're sitting on the lanai after dinner and she tells me she hears a chainsaw. We listen closer and the sound is more like "worship the devil, I am the devil" and we can't figure out where it's coming from.

It definitely sounds like a live death metal band plugged into an amplifier of magnamous porportion. I say that I'm calling the sherrif's department (you know, cause I'm an old lady now and need my quiet time) but we need to know where it's coming from.

We hop in the car and drive towards the devil music. After locating the strob lights in the sky, we narrow it down to a Methodist church near by. LL&L is thinking someone is there stealing electricity rockin out. I'm thinking, if I wasn't afraid of the church before, I definitely am now.

We head home and call the sherrif's department and I tell them it sounds like a satanic sacrifice is occurring. They said "uh oh, okay a deputy is on the way."

Satan and his followers were shut down within 5. Good rules over evil yet again.

It's Girls Staycation Weekend!!

It's that time of year again when the girls and I put our worries aside and head to the beach for the weekend. We are actually doing it a little earlier this year...

Cuz we all really need it!

No husbands...No Kids...Wait I don't have either...But they all do...No curfew...No waiting til 5:00 for a cocktail!

I decided to google our hometown destination to show you a picture...

This was one of the photos that popped up...


And it made me laugh my ass off! So I just had to share.

UM NO...That is NOT where I'll be!

I know The Economy is in the pisser and all...

But that is NOT where I'll be spending my Staycation!

I'll be here...


I'll be back on Sunday. Have a Fabulous weekend!

ALOHA!

So our trip is booked!

Sing along with me...

"We're leaving on a jet plane..."

On May 9th and will return on the 20th.

Well...She's returning for sure.

I may not.

I mean if some studly surfer sweeps me off my feet...

I'M STAYING!

Anyhow...I.CAN'T.WAIT!

Of course now I have almost two months to deal with my flight anxiety...

But that's what wine and Xanax are for. Right?

So the countdown begins...

Now This Makes Me Smile...

Lola and I had a photo shoot yesterday. And No it wasn't that crazy perv I met at Rays Fan Fest who took our pictures. These are compliments of The Old Guy. Thought I would share...

Help Is On The Way...

I'm having a REALLY SHITTY DAY!

Seriously, I.HATE.TODAY!

I've never hated a Saturday in my life...

UNTIL TODAY!

FUCK YOU TODAY!

I HATE YOU!

Thank God my parents and a best friend are on their way.

I Have Nothing...

So I will redirect you here for some funny!

Y'all didn't know I was a "Funny Patrol Officer"

Did you?

Just looking out for you! "They" say laughter adds more years to our lives then a kickboxing class...I'm still wondering who in the hell these "They" people are!

The Cavemen maybe?? Cuz it's seems like "They" have been around for ages!

I want y'all to laugh.

I just can't do that for you today.

So go there.

This post on Wynonna takes the cake!

Promise you will laugh.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree...

Yesterday I spent the day with my parents. We had a fabulous lunch. And then we shopped! Dad was such a good sport! We rewarded him with a drink at Hooters after our "Shop Fest" was over.

Anyhow, the point of my title is my Mom went home with 5 new pair of shoes. That's not even her record...She's bought 7 pair in one day before! Clearly there is problem in our family!