Can't Sleep...

So I'm up...

In the middle of the night...

And Lola is on the couch...Cuz that's how we roll now.

Whatever it takes to keep her from barking at every big dog, little dog, human, squirrel, bunny, car and truck that goes by...

Maybe one more cookie will do the trick.

And I'm gonna pour myself a bowl of wine...

So...

I'm quite certain that I bumped into the ass clown that left that note on my car this morning while walking Lola.

I'm not positive...he just looks like the type that would do it.

I've decided to just let this one go as I'm in a really good place right now and can't be bothered with drama or negativity...We left that back on Montelluna Drive.

That being said I just wanted to check in and let y'all know that Lola and I are adjusting to our new life just fine. We're happy and our new little place is starting to feel cozy.

Other things to be happy about...

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!

I'm taking The Old Guy and his Not So Old Wife to dinner tonight...and I CAN'T WAIT to see them!

My little sister is moving back from Hawaii on the 8th.

My mom will be a lot less crazy when my little sister moves back from Hawaii on the 8th.

And thanks to a certain someone I'm smiling a lot.

Ketchup...

*Lola is calming down...Now we're only barking at the little dogs and occasionally at the big ones.


* The Old Guy still works for me even though we are no longer neighbors. He was over this weekend hanging window treatments and pictures...I know y'all are relieved...I sure as hell am!


* I moved a lot of shit that I.DO.NOT.NEED! I should have listened to Stereos and Souffles Cuz she's always right!


* I'm having fun making memories at the new place...And have already made some really good ones!

* The Rays lost yesterday even though I WASN'T at the game...So I guess it's not me.

* I woke up this morning to a note on my window that read...Nice Parking Job You Stupid Asshole...Seriously?!?! There was nothing wrong with my parking job. I SWEAR! So apparently I've been blessed with another asshole neighbor in The Hood.

I'm thinking if I can figure out who did this I will take my Mom's advice and make the fucktard some poop brownies.

So...

Lola still thinks she has died and gone to doggy hell.

I on the other hand feel like I've died and gone back to college!

Seriously... I'm living in an apartment again, I haven't had time to grocery shop so the only items in my fridge are 5 Bud Lights and coffee creamer and the night before last I ate Ramen Noodles for dinner.

Then...Last night I went out to dinner, watched The Rays game and shot pool until nearly midnight!

Movers and Shakers...

Well I'm all moved in...

Not unpacked though...That's another story...

I had a tremendous amount of help and am so thankful for my friends, family and all of the love and support I had on such a difficult day...Oh and my xanax.

Lola arrived last night. She has been staying with my parents since last Friday...

And as lonesome as I was for her...I knew all of the chaos would just stress her out.

She's having a hard time adjusting...Harder than me.

First of all we are on the second floor...And she's not a big fan of the stairs. She's not use to all of the activity...You know people...cars...other dogs...And was barking non stop this morning.

So it's quite possible that I could be evicted by the end of the week.

She just doesn't deal well with change...She must get that from me.

This One's Not Gonna Be Easy...

Dear Old Guy and Your Not So Old Wife,

Two days from today I will be saying so long to our fancy gated community and moving away from the two of you...

Words could never express how much you guys mean to me. I am so thankful to have you in my life...As is Lola.

Thank you for all of your love and support.

Thank you for being my second parents.

Thank you for all of the wonderful home cooked suppers you have invited me to. Your Not So Old Wife is such a FABULOUS cook! And you are quite The Grill Master...I'm gonna miss your BURNED TO SHIT chicken!

Thank you for coaching me in tennis and allowing me to beat you a time or two...And for not shaking your head when I bring a glass of wine to the court and just taking a sip instead.

Thank you for being my plumber, my pool guy, my eBay seller, my lawn maintenance man, my photographer, my tennis coach, my painter, my dog sitter, my air conditioner fixer, my electrician, my red wine drinking partner and most importantly my friend!

Thank you for being MY OLD GUY!

Whatever nursing home gets you is sure gonna hit the jackpot!

The thought of moving away from you guys breaks my heart...However I think it's gonna be good for my liver.

Love you both with all my heart,

Life, Love & Lola

Note To Self...

Dear Self,


I can see that you are frustrated with this downsizing bullshit. I know it sucks! You really should have thought twice about some of the purchases you have made over the years...


I hope this will be a lesson to you when you are making future purchases.


Seriously does Lola really need 6 collars, 3 leashes and 12 bandannas?

Are you planning on catering a BIG ASS wedding sometime in the near future? Cuz it appears you have enough stemware to do so!!

You must be the most moisturized person on the planet based on the 8,000 bottles of partially used body lotions under your bathroom sink.

And you could decorate The White House with the amount of Christmas decor you own.

Seriously...

So self... NO MORE impulse buys...K??

L, L & L

P.S. Regarding shoes...

One For The Jackass Next Door...

Moving Day

Is scheduled for August 15.

Holy Shit that's 11 days from now... And I haven't even started packing my shoes!!!


I'm scared...and excited...and overwhelmed!

I've decided to rent an apartment for a year so that I can regroup...Although, that could very easily take longer than a year...We shall see.

That being said I'm having to downsize and get rid of A.LOT.OF.SHIT!


On August the 15th I will begin a new chapter in my life.


Wait...The hell with a new chapter...I'm beginning a whole new story...Cuz I'm over this one!

With this story will come new beginnings and new adventures...

And I can't wait!

We are keeping with the title Life, Love & Lola for our new story...Cuz I can't deal with too many changes at once.

However we are getting rid of one of our characters...

I'll give you three guesses...