Saturday, March 22, 2008

Some call them In-Laws...I call them Out-Laws

Lord knows marriage can be tough at times!

We have daily concerns...Laundry, dinner, work, housework, etc... We have monthly concerns mortgage, bills, etc... Recently, I have discovered that my Out-Laws (father-in-law not included as he passed in 2004 and was a WONDERFUL man) have become a big problem. Possibly a lifelong concern.

My MIL is a very bitter woman. Divorced and never remarried, overweight, a victim in this world, and spends way to much time interfering with my husband's life. My BIL thinks he walks on water and is quick to judge everyone. As he is BETTER than all of us. Even his own sister calls him "Father Superior".

Can anyone offer advice on Out-Laws? I simply can't deal with these people sometimes. It's hard to believe that my husband is part of this family.


Always Organizing said...

Hi! I came across you blog this morning and I love the title because I have a cat named Lola!

I am not married, but am engaged and my future hubby's family sounds a lot like your out-laws. My opinion is to keep things between you and your husband. For example, my fiance's brother is his best friend. He is also the biggest, most immature adult male I have ever met. He has no respect for the life that his brother and I have together and expects his brother to drop everything for him (as if I don't exist). I realized this a long time ago and it has been a source of contention between my fiance and I since my fiance wasn't seeing the situation the same way.

I started keeping my mouth shut unless my fiance said something about him. My future brother-in-law really acted up recently and my fiance recognized how immature and problematic his brother is and how it impacts us.

I think the most important thing is that you and your hubby are on the same page. He is responsible for setting boundaries with his family, especially with his mother. If you say something to her she will never forget it and it will put your hubby in a difficult position. You can't change your out-laws and putting energy into it is only a waste. Sorry for the long comment, hope you don't mind my 2 cents!

Life, Love & Lola said...

Thanks for your 2 cents Always organizing. I think you saved me from seeing a therapist!!

Always Organizing said...

Hope I wasn't too opinionated in my previous comment! I have found it hard to accept that my future in-laws aren't what I want them to be. I guess I expected a closer relationship with them, but it just isn't going to happen. For me it is important that my future hubby knows that I'm making a good faith effort with all of them and that is really all that can be done. I'll let him deal with the crazies, they are his family after all!! :)