Ask Lola...

My Blogiversary and The Florida Care Package Giveaway are 4 days away!

I've decided to let you ask me questions...Any question and I will answer your questions in My Blogiversary Post.

Not that I don't already spill my guts to all of you...But maybe there is something your curious about...Or maybe you don't give a shit and you just visit this place to make your own lives seem more normal.

So ask...

Dear Dude That I met at Rays Fan Fest Last Weekend,

Lose my number!

Seriously...LOSE IT!

I don't typically give out my number in the first place...But you were there having fun, you're a Rays fan, you like dogs, you were easy to talk to, you seemed nice enough and I thought if nothing else I had made a new friend.

NOT!

Maybe I appeared innocent and Naive...Don't let the pigtails fool you!!

When I got home I googled your ass. Yuck! You mentioned you were a photographer... However, you didn't mention you were THAT TYPE of photographer.

I want to vomit just thinking that while WE were talking baseball YOU were probably picturing me half naked sprawled out on the hood of one of your sports cars sucking on a lollipop.

EWWWWW!

Seriously...Lose my number! I'm SOOO not your type...I have class! You're not tall enough for me anyhow!

SERIOUSLY,

L,L&L

Girls Night "Old School" Style

Beginning of The Night...



Last Call...

Notice we are minus one...She just started way before we did.

What a blast! I've known this crew since middle school and high school! Talk about silliness!

LOOK

What I grew!

Playing Cupid...Life, Love & Lola Style...

The Scene...GIRLS NIGHT OUT.

My girlfriend looks at me and says: "Shit, tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I don't have anything for my husband...Not even a card"

Me: "Hang on...We can fix this"

Me again (to other girlfriend in the group): "See if the bartender has some scissors"

Request granted and scissors in hand I cut a perfect heart out of a Budweiser coaster...thinking maybe we could make him a card.

One Budweiser Heart was not enough...

And then there were two.

Her: "How about this?" (holding both Budweiser Hearts up to her boobs)

Me: "Pasties! Great idea! Now all you need is a pair of red panties and some tape. It will be his best Valentine's Day ever!"

And she is SOOO gonna do it!

How's that for creativity?

You Know You Have A Cool Relationship With Your Parents When...

You receive a Valentine in the mail from them and instead of reading...

"To A Wonderful Daughter On Valentine's Day...With Love Mom & Dad"

It Reads...

"We Hope Your Valentine's Day Reads Like A Trashy Romance Novel"

Thanks guys! I hope so too!

Actually, I hope the rest of my life reads like A Trashy Romance Novel...

Minus Fabio. He's really not my type.

Instead...I'll take a 6 foot something, athletic, handsome, dog loving, foot rubbing, wants to spoil me rotten, good cooking Hunk!

K?

You'd still read that novel right?

Tagged...

I was tagged by Fingerprints On The Fridge to list 7 random things about Yours Truly. I've actually done this tag a couple of times...But believe it or not there are still random things that y'all don't know about me.

1. I was in a terrible car accident in 1998 while visiting Colorado and had to be airlifted via helicopter to a Trauma Center for emergency surgery. I should have died in that wreck. I didn't...And that's why I believe in Guardian Angels...AND SEAT BELTS!

2. I don't drink soda. Or pop. Or coke. Or whatever you call it in your neck of the woods.

3. The first time I ever saw a diseased smoker's lung in the OR I hit the floor. Seriously, I passed out! I smoked at the time and quit "Cold Turkey" for 8 months. I currently smoke again and wish I could quit...NOW is just not the time. I hate that I smoke! I hate the smell and have never smoked inside my home. Also, it's expensive! Just think of all the new shoes I could buy with my savings if I quit...I may need to rethink this.

4. I miss my Father-In-Law. EVERYDAY. Notice the "IN." I never referred to him as an "Out-Law." He was different from the rest of them. He and I were close. He treated me like a daughter. I'm mentioning him today as it is his birthday. I've spent a lot of time wondering how my life would be different if he hadn't taken his.

5. As a child, I believed in The Easter Bunny long after I stopped believing in Santa. Now that's just weird...

6. I love the name Olivia. If I ever have a daughter that's what I want to name her. If I don't...That's what I'll name my next dog.

7. As a little girl I never wanted a pony. Horses scare the shit out of me!

Thanks for the tag Fingerprints On The Fridge. Go check out her blog. She's from Canada. And has a four legged little one named Ella who is a fluff ball full of cuteness!!!

I tag any of you who are lacking some material to post about...

I Have Been Blessed

With the most wonderful relationships one could ever ask for!

As Valentines Day approaches...

I've reflected and thought about what "True Love" really is.

Valentines Day Is Not Just For Lovers...It is about those who have touched your heart.

Here's to those who have touched my heart.

Carol: Losing my Mother to Cancer and having you embrace me as your very own.

Lola: Losing my Dog unexpectedly in the middle of the night. I didn't want you. My girlfriend's husband insisted I needed a puppy. We got you. I can't imagine life without you!

April: Why in the hell did I move?

My Girls: The ones I've told about "Lola's Place"...My Besties (you know who you are)

My Blog Sisters...Holy shit Y'all keep me sane!

Dad: "Have you heard the latest???" (Inside joke) You own my heart forever! I've never met a cooler man!

*EDITED TO ADD* If you know about "Lola's Place" and I didn't mention you specifically...You too have touched my heart. I don't share this "Place" with just anyone...So consider yourself special!

LOOK

What my credit card bought me for Valentines Day! Does he know me too well or what?

Guess he forgot about the HOT PINK iPod Nano he already bought me...I really wasn't expecting anything else!

My Blogiversary

Is approaching rather quickly.

February 21st will mark my year anniversary of starting this blog.

In recognition to "My Blog" (aka... My Happy Place...My Outlet...My Me Time)

I'm including ALL OF YOU in my celebration.

A GIVEAWAY!

The rules...

Just leave a comment...Or a compliment...Or make me laugh.

And you're entered! For the next 16 days you can enter once a day. Whoever leaves the most comments (or tells me how pretty I am) WINS!!

Just like that...And you'll receive a Florida care package from Life, Love & Lola.

A Funny Memory

I was on the phone last night with an old friend and he reminded me of this story.

Thought I would share...

When I was in college I got this wild hair one school break to move from Tallahassee to Gainesville. The plan was to move in with three of my best friends from high school and make a fresh start (as the only thing I was accomplishing in Tallahassee was my drinking tolerance).

So I packed up my shit, had a friend drive me down and help me move in. Being that it was a school break, my girlfriends were home visiting their families. So I just unloaded my shit and decided to go back to Tallahassee to say my goodbyes over the course of the weekend.

After many drinks and many tears I decided I didn't want to leave.

I awoke on Sunday and called this guy I worked with (the friend who I spoke with last night) and asked if he had plans for the day.

His response: "No, What's up?"

Mine: "Can you drive me to Gainesville and help me get my shit? I don't want to move."

So, we head down to Gator Country in his truck to load up.

Packed and ready to go we are unable to open both driver and passenger doors to get inside. I would like to think he was distracted by my beauty while tying my mattress down, but I'm pretty sure he just wanted to get me, my shit and himself home.

He tied the fucking doors shut!

We laughed! And laughed!! And laughed!!!

He felt like an idiot. I never knew this until last night, as he looked at this field trip as an opportunity to get to know me. We retied the mattress and we were on our way.

A couple of miles into the trip, my mattress flew off the back of the truck and into the middle of I-75! HOLY SHIT! We could have killed someone! And he most certainly could have been killed trying to retrieve it from the interstate! And why did I really need that dirty mattress?

But he got it, he retied it, we laughed some more (actually the whole way home) and then we got some beer.

After that field trip we ended up dating.

Most likely cuz we laughed so much (and y'all know how much I love silliness). Or maybe cuz he was really cute. Or maybe cuz he was in a band (and wrote a song about me). Or maybe a lot of other reasons...

Anyhow, during our conversation last night he was saying how he tells this story all the time... And to this day apparently still feels like an idiot. On the other hand...I forgot about the whole thing! Guess I killed those brain cells when I got back to Tallahassee.

I said "If we just would have gotten into your truck Dukes of Hazard style we would have made it."

And we laughed again.

There Goes The Neighborhood!

It was brought to my attention the other day that A REGISTERED SEXUAL PREDATOR and his roommate A REGISTERED SEXUAL OFFENDER moved into my neighborhood last week.

MY NEIGHBORHOOD!

The neighborhood where you need to be on a list to enter if you aren't a resident and where you have a clicker if you are.

The neighborhood where they call you at night if you've left your garage door open (which is every night in my case...I actually think I do it on purpose...I like his call every night! I think I sleep better knowing that Barney Fife at the front gate is looking out for me).

The neighborhood that won't let your own Father through if their computers are down as they cannot access "Your People List".

The neighborhood where you get reminders not to park overnight in the street or that your lawn needs attention.

This neighborhood just allowed 2 CONVICTED SEXUAL PREDATORS to move in!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Seriously...
I searched them on The Registered Offender Site and they live.09 miles from me. I'm freaking the fuck out!

I don't lock my doors... And on nice evenings I sleep with all my sliders open. I like having an open house. That's just how we roll here at Lola's place. It's been safe for almost 4 years...and now this.

Guess I will be making some changes...

Locking doors, closing the garage (I'll miss your late night calls Barney), getting Lola a Pitt Bull to play with, using my alarm, sleeping with an axe next to my bed and no more running to the laundry room naked!

I don't like change!

I'm pissed!