Dear Marketing Director for Old Spice Body Wash,

In regards to your new commercial:

Let me start by saying I don't appreciate your humor.

I'm pretty sure your thought behind the ad was that:

"If they use your product, they will be hung like a horse."

However, if my man exits the shower half man/half horse after using your body wash...

I'm really not sure what I'd do with him.

He's certainly not getting in bed with me. Not with those hooves!

You've been around for a long time "Old Spice."

You can do better.

Besides, even if the men buy your silly ad...It's us women who buy the products.

I'm just saying.

Life, Love & Lola

ABC'S...

A. Attached or Single? Attached.

B. Best Friend? Quite a few. I heart my besties!

C. Cake or Pie? Key Lime Pie.

D. Day of Choice? Saturday. It's the only day I completely forget about work.

E. Essential Item? Victoria's Secret "Slice of Heaven" lip gloss

F. Favorite Color? Green

G. Gummy Bears or Worms? I don't do gummies.

H. Home town? Sarasota, FL

I. Indulgence? Stone Crab Claws & Red Wine

J. January or July? July! Love the summer.

K. Kids? Just my four legged fury one.

L. Life isn't complete without? Love

M. Marriage date? 3/29/2003 (Thank God it's engraved on my charm bracelet Sometimes I get it confused with the 23rd)

N. Number of Brothers and Sisters? Two Step-sisters. I'm the oldest. The youngest took off to Hawaii in January with this total Jackass. I'm going to wring her neck when I see her. So then I guess I'll only have one. :)

O. Oranges or Apples? I'm not much of a fruit eater. Love my veggies though!

P. Phobias? heights, escalators, snakes, Mondays

Q. Quotes? "And one day there shall be a love so strong that when one cries the other tastes salt" (my all time favorite)

"If you live to be 100 I want to live to be 100 minus one day that way I never have to live without you" -Winnie The Pooh

"I can deal with anything as long as I have the Right Shoes"

R. Reasons to Smile? Pre-Season Football kicks off this weekend!

S. Season of Choice? Summer. Love grilling out by the pool, boating and being outside.

T. Tag 5 People - whoever hasn't done this and wants to.

U. Unknown story About Me? I had to be cut out of my gown on my wedding night by the concierge at The Ritz Carlton. No joke! My husband was trying to help me out of my gown and broke the zipper handle right off. I started to panic! We called down to the concierge desk requesting scissors right away. They came up and cut me out of my gown. I had never been so relieved in all my life. They informed me that I wasn't the first Bride that this had happened to.

V. Vegetable? Artichokes

W. Worst Quality? I'm WAY TOO Sensitive. Most days I wish I had thicker skin!

X. X-Ray or Ultrasound? I've had plenty of X-Rays. Too many.

Z. Zodiac Sign? Taurus (Yep, The Bull)

Z. Zoo Animal? Penguins and Monkeys I could watch both for hours.

*ETA* Back to Season of choice...FOOTBALL SEASON is my favorite season! And to think I said summer. What was I thinking?

Just a Thought

If you are going to place a bumper sticker on the back of your truck that asks "How's My Driving? Call 1-800-123-4567"

I suggest that at the very least you turn on your blinker before slamming on your brakes to make a turn while I am behind you.

Because depending on my mood I may or may not call.

Some Might

Call this a PROBLEM.

I call them my SUPPORT GROUP!

Sometimes I just sit in there and talk to them.

And I ALWAYS tell them Good Night.

Realization

I like being a wife.

I like being his wife.

I was meant to be a wife, and I think I've done a damn good job being one.

I'm not saying I've been "The Perfect Wife."

Although I'm close ;)

I just like being a wife.

Funny the things we realize while watching Great White Sharks fly through the air.

*ETA* I just want want to be a wife to someone who wants to be a husband, and wants me for his wife.

SHARK WEEK

Is seriously the most unproductive week of the year for me.

I generally do not watch much TV. Aside from my favorites Prison Break(DUH) and Gray's Anatomy, I almost never put the TV on. But I can sit and watch these shark episodes forever (which is what I did last night.) They are such fascinating creatures!

It's a good thing this week didn't happen before my parents went on their surf adventure. I would have panicked. I would have had to fake some sort of mysterious illness that put me in the hospital to keep them from going.

There was some footage that was shot in Fiji. OH.MY.GOD, I want to go there. Let's plan a trip. I'm just not getting in the water, so we will need to book a resort with a nice pool. Maybe we can convince Ashley to bring us there on the closet cruise.

If you aren't watching you should be.

Things I'm Happy About Today

The last couple of times I've visited this place I've realized what a downer it has become.

So I'm here to liven it up a little with the things that have made me happy today.

1. I ditched work at lunchtime cuz Shannie told me to. Then the voices in my head told me to go to TJ Maxx (I'm part of The TJ Maxx Mafia incase you didn't know.)

Check out these two cuties that I scored


My therapist wasn't available today, so I had to go the retail therapy route.

2. My Mia Smiles just called and made me laugh. She's good like that!

3. Shark Week began yesterday on The Discovery Channel. I LOOOOOVE Shark Week! Although it does keep me out of the water for awhile.

So there are three things that have added some sunshine to my day today, and hopefully some sunshine to Life, Love and Lola's Place.

Hope all of you are having a FAB day!

Dear Self,

I know it was really difficult for you to get out of bed this morning. But you did it, you got up, showered, put your BIG GIRL panties on and I'm proud of you! However, I wasn't too pleased with how low the number on the scale was. Let's keep an eye on that number. K?

Now it's time for you to focus ON YOU!

It's time to stop given second (and third and fourth) chances and start taking some!

Think about that saying over there...that's why you put it there.

You need to decide where you would rather be. So where would you rather be?

Don't say sitting on the beach in The Dominican Republic with Wentworth Miller. You need to be a little more realistic! And going back to bed is not an option.

So for today focus on you and where you want to be. K?

Much love,
LL&L

P.S. With all things considered you look pretty cute today.

P.S. I Love You

Have you seen it?

If not, you should.

But not when you're sad, cuz it will just make you more sad.

The book was AWESOME, and the movie, a close second!

Give it a shot.

Just not when you're sad.

The Second Date

Is happening in a couple of hours.

And I have butterflies.

I think.

Or maybe I'm going to throw up (because I just ran 2 miles with Lola in this heat.)

Well Rested and Ready To Go

My parents got home last night and picked up The Redd Dog (she calls him Rodrigo on her blog, but his real name is Redd.)

I slept until 9:30 which is unheard of under this roof (guess I needed it) Oh, and Lola...She slept until 11:00...and is now napping.

Truth be told, I kinda miss Redd. He is just the sweetest most gentle dog you've ever met.

As far as bitching about my lack of sleep...

I feel bad cuz...

My Mom came home with a shiner!
From the surfboard hitting her in the eye.
And she didn't sleep either.

This is exactly why I don't camp!

Now I'm off to a party at one of my neighbors house.
Who I love to be around (and who are also gay.) It makes me feel like I'm starring in an episode of Will & Grace.

So last weekend was white trash and today is gay.

OPRAH LOVES ME...SHE REALLY REALLY LOVES ME

Let me start by saying it's very unusual for me to check the mail and not have some sort of free sample waiting for me to discover.

I think I've told you before that I'M A FREEBIE WHORE!

Thanks to Mommy Saves Big and Katy Shops they make my hunt for freebies a little easier.

Well, today I came home to a box.

A Big Box.

From Oprah!

Inside the box was a beach bag and inside the beach bag were loads and loads of freebies!

I'm talking THE MOTHER LOAD!

Full size freebies of Dove body wash, Lancome mascara, Clarins Younger Longer, Estee Lauder Night Repair, Aveeno, Neutrogena mineral makeup, salad dressing, snacks, perfume and etc.

You name it, It's in there!

And I'm as happy as a pig in shit!

I wasn't going to blog about this...

Cuz my Mom(obviously)reads my blog...

I've been dog sitting my parent's dog while they are away...and he's handicapped.

I love him dearly.

He's been in my life for 12 years.

I'm the only one they trusted him with.

BUT HE'S INTERRUPTING MY BEAUTY SLEEP!

SO DAD & MOM, IF I'M UGLY WHEN YOU COME HOME, IT'S HIS FAULT!

P.S. I Know I've personally interrupted your sleep in the past...So, I guess we're even.

This Just In...

While sitting in the hot tub tonight reading my new Woman's Day magazine I came across this study:

Women who take time off once every two years have a higher risk of DEPRESSION than those who vacation more regularly, says The National Institute for Occupational and Health. A getaway reduces ANXIETY, STRESS and ANGER, and even stimulates the production of CALMING brain chemicals, says some PhD/CEO of The Stress Institute (did ya'll know there was such a place? Sign me up!)

Share this with your husbands. Lets plan a trip. It really is in their best interest for us to do so!

By the way Honey...If you're reading this I just booked a flight to Dallas. Cuz I need a break. K?

And...Allen, Texas...I'm headed your way I'll be there August 22-25. I'll email you the details.

AND.I.CAN'T.WAIT!

Overage for a calender?

Is there some law that does not allow people over the age of 65 to buy calenders?

Seriously, they just don't know what day it is!

A patient today: "What's today's date?"

Me: "The 24th."

Patient: "Of?"

NO JOKE!

OF FRICKING JULY!

The day is one thing, but the month!

Call me crazy, but weren't those fireworks 2 1/2 weeks ago a dead giveaway? Or all of the flags? Or the people wearing red, white, and blue?

WWJD?

For those of you Non-Floridians...

That stands for "What would Jimmy Do?"

And the answer is pretty simple...

He would put on his big boy flip-flops and deal with it.

A Margarita would be involved.

And so would a Corona.

And a Parrot.

When times get tough...

Just think...

What Would Jimmy Buffet Do?

Not to steal any thunder from Jesus...

But I think the "J" might actualy stand for Jimmy.

Cuz He's real (Not that Jesus isn't...I've just seen Jimmy in real life.)

Although I've felt Jesus.

But, Jimmy is just as real as you get!

Know all that yard work

I'm always talking about doing? Seriously, I've been working my ass off for months! Well, it has gotten overwhelming (the lawn part) because it was attacked by chinch bugs a while back.

So yesterday I bit the bullet and had a company come and give me a quote...

$2200.00!

I DON'T THINK SO!

I'm getting another quote today.

ETA- I suppose I could barter 2 hours in the sack with me...Then they would owe me $96.00.

Thank Ya Thank Ya Very Much

Shannie MADE MY DAY!

My very first blog award! Yeah Me!

Go check out her blog! It will having you LOL (or on the edge of your seat if you read The Big Freak Out 2008). She has two little ones that give her a lot of blog worthy material to post about. Oh, and some crazy neighbors too.

Thanks Shannie you ROCK Sista!

Now it's my turn to nominate some gals for an award. I nominate:

My Mom- because I think she's doing a really good job with her blog even though she is technologically challenged!

Always Organizing- because she was my first friend in The Blog World.

My Mia Smiles- even though she's new to The Blog World...She's known me for over twenty years, puts up with my shit and still likes me anyway. That just deserves an award!

Ms. Florida Transplant- because she's been through a lot lately and has handled it all with such strength and grace.

Live.Love.Eat- because she's always sharing her recipes that look so Yummy. Don't read her blog on an empty stomach!

The Lining of My Life- Although she is sometimes too busy to post everyday it's because she does so much volunteering within her community and she also has to put up with a crappy EX husband...So that deserves an award.

Once an award is received, the rules are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.

3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.

4. Add links to these blogs on your blog.

5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

Congratulations Rocking Girl Bloggers! Reading your blogs truly makes my day!

XOXO,
Life, Love & Lola

Invasion

I was informed by one of our patients yesterday that there is a serious Iguana problem in Englewood and Boca Grande.

Not sure how familiar you are with Florida...but both of these cities are VERY.CLOSE.TO.WHERE.I.LIVE!

As you know I'm somewhat a fan of the wildlife in my neighborhood. I love to watch the birds, Lola gets such pleasure out of chasing the bunnies on our morning runs, and I've even seen an Otter run through my yard which totally made me smile. I welcome the little lizards on my lanai because they don't bother me and act as pest control to any ants or mosquito's that make there way in.

It's almost like I have my own personal Animal Planet going on in my backyard.


However, If one of these

Shows up, THERE IS GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY!

Here's part of an article from one of the local newspapers:

The green invaders that have munched through gardens throughout South Florida not only are headed our way, they already have landed. They are voracious, quickly can grow to 6 feet long and absolutely love most ornamental flowers and vegetable gardens.

A little unnerving don't you think?

The terms VORACIOUS and 6 FUCKING FEET LONG

DON'T SIT WELL WITH ME!

How much are you worth?

Powered By Limousines For Rent

Dear Vultures,

In the middle of the road chowing on roadkill. If you don't get the hell out of the way YOU are going to become roadkill and then someone will be chowing on you.

I'm just saying.

Decided

That last post wasn't such a good idea.

So I deleted it!

Just like that.

If life were only that simple!

Sunday Funday

After last night I didn't think I could fit any more "TRAILER PARK" into my weekend, but somehow managed to do so today.

That arm of mine was SO twisted...Once again.

We went here...

And listened to a band who's name was "RODE HARD" which was appropriate, as most of the people there WERE.

Seriously, the less teeth you have at this place the more popular I think you are.

Which made me a GEEK!

It actually resulted in a Revelation.

My life really isn't all that bad!

And a little history lesson:
SNOOK HAVENS HISTORY
1938- The acclaimed, “Revenge of the Killer Turtles” starring Johnny Weismuller as Tarzan was filmed here. Some of the turtles and monkeys escaped during filming taking up residence along the banks of the Myakka River.

1947- The turtles convinced a small group of investors to open Snook Haven Restaurant as a place where army troops could come for entertainment.

1954- Elvis began his career. Shrouded in secrecy he makes Snook Haven his second home and still plays here seasonally to a packed house.

1960- The turtles encourage a young Catholic Senator from Massachusetts to run for President, with their help he won and was forever grateful.

1969- Before his historic flight, Neil Armstrong stopped in. Armstrong, after his meal, is noted as saying, “That’s one small price for a meal, those portions could feed all mankind.”

1975- After years of harmony, the turtles began a vicious turf war. Jimmy Hoffa visited Snook Haven to negotiate peace. Shortly afterward, he disappeared.

1989- After the Fall of the Berlin Wall, Ronald Reagan & George Bush stopped by for a few beers and some Old Florida southern cooking.

1991- Reagan and Bush returned to celebrate the fall of the Soviet Union. The party however, was cut short due to fear of Dan Quayle running the White House.

2004- Avid sports fans, after helping the Buc’s win the super bowl in 2003, the turtles put pressure on the New York Yankees. They blow a three game series lead and the Boston Red Sox go on and win their first World Series in 86 years.

A little wine...A little dancing...And a whole lot of fun!

I survived and I don't have a black eye or any injuries for that matter.
Although my hand hurts from playing the tambourine for the band. Yes, ME!

There is excellent people watching to be had at The Hoosier Bar! It draws ALL types of folk. Some sound like Marge Simpson, some have tattoos, some wear more clothing than others, hell a neurosurgeon that I use to work with at the hospital was even there.

People actually abide to the sign that reads "NO PISSY ATTITUDES ALLOWED."

Oh, about signs...

Is that genius or what?

A Biker Chick I Am Not

I've talked about The Hoosier Bar in the past.

It's actually an ongoing joke in my family.We often tease my Grandmother about stopping there on her way to my parents house (cuz she always seems drunk when she arrives but she actually doesn't drink.) I seriously wanted to bring her and my mom there for Mother's Day but they suggested someplace with a little more class.

It's a total biker bar...with no windows...and lots of smoke...and really rough biker people...and I'm going tonight! There's a band playing that some friends want to listen to, so my arm has been twisted (which really isn't that hard to twist.)

If nothing else it should result in something blog worthy.

So, I'll be back tomorrow, assuming I don't get beat up by some biker chick with no teeth.

Wish me luck.

Would like to report

That I've been doing something fun today, but I would be lying.
I've been doing yard work (with Eminem of course), Pressure cleaning my lanai, and vacuuming my fur floors (with The Dixie Chicks).
It's tough keeping up with ALL.OF.THIS.SHIT. On my own!
Can I move in with one of y'all?
Pretty Please?

Now Introducing

The Star Of This Show.
THAT'S LOLA!
I've been holding out on Ya'll cuz I didn't want you to come and steal her.
But since I'm in such a sharing mood today, I thought I'd give you a special treat.

The View From My Lanai Lastnight

Was BREATHTAKING!
How's that for a sunset?
Just thought I'd share.

ETA: The more I look at the picture it almost looks like fire. If it were that would take care of those LOUD ASS PEOPLE across the lake!

A Meme for you... Cuz I love to share my life with Ya'll

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Reusable shopping bags (one of my efforts to be green)

2. When was the last time you threw up? September 16th of last year. It was a really bad day...That's why I remember this.

3. What's your favorite curse word? Bullshit

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Lola(she's a person as far as I'm concerned), One of the therapists I work with, the doctor that works down the hall (he actually made me laugh out loud)

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Walking into the clinic

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talking with the doctor who made me laugh

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Hopefully playing tennis with my neighbor. Unless it rains or he's found another girlfriend to hit with.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes with my husband before we got married and he bought me a lap dance...I was horrified!

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? "You gotta watch out for the psychos" (We've been talking about online dating with the current patient that is here)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Publix Key Lime Pie

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

13. What was the last thing you ate? A handful of Wasabi Cashews

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No, but my new swimsuit came in the mail! Aaaargh!

15. When was the last time you ran? Yesterday morning before work.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Wimbledon

18. Who is the last person you emailed? my neighbor.

19. Ever go camping? A loooong time ago as a child. Will I go as an adult...HELL NO!

20. Do you have a tan? Yes

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? I don't drink soda.

25. What did your last IM say? I don't IM

26. Are you someones best friend? Yes.

27. What are you doing tomorrow? Working

28. Where is your mom right now? My biological mom is in heaven. My step mom is either running, bike riding, or watching The Food Network

29. Look to your left, what do you see? A GINORMOUS stack of paperwork

30. What color is your watch? I don't wear a watch

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Cage diving with the sharks at The Great Barrier Reef (It's one of my life goals)

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes! I want a boob job.

33. What is your birthstone? Emerald

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Neither, I don't eat fast food. Although, I did have those two Happy Meals on my road trip with dad and we drove thru.

35.How many kids do you want? 1

36. Do you have a dog? Yes, and this blog is named after her.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? One of our patients.

38. Have you met anyone famous? Yes. Woody Harellson.

39. Any plans today? Finish work, stop at Publix, fold laundry, tennis

40. How many states have you lived in? 2

41. Ever go to college? yes

42. Where are you right now? Work

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Out-laws

44. Last song listened to? New Soul is on the radio right now. I LOVE this song!

46. Are you allergic to anything? Brussel sprouts :)

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My Haviannias. I have 8 pair and I love love love them!

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Nope

49. Is anyone jealous of you? Yep

51. What time is it? 2:09 PM

52. Do any of your friends have children? Most of them

53. Do you eat healthy? Yep

54. What do you usually do during the day? Work

55. Do you hate anyone right now? HATE is a really strong word. I have some people I DISLIKE.VERY.MUCH. I think you know who they are.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? All day long.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 35

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope

60. How did you get one of your scars? I was in a car accident and had to have a skin graft on my knee. The skin is from my butt. Hair does not grow on that knee, so I never have to shave it.

Where did that come from?

Can someone please tell me why there is a "amp" that keeps showing up when I post a comment?
What the hell?

There's A Ring Leader

Within this Community of LOUD ASS FROGS!

Cuz, I was just sitting outside by my pool in complete silence and then HE chimed in.

Their Leader.

And then they ALL began.

And They're loud.

And Obnoxious.

And ear plugs don't do the trick anymore!

I'm certain that he wouldn't become a PRINCE if I kissed him.

And I already hate him, so I wouldn't kiss him anyway.

So the plan is to kill him...Their Leader.

Suggestions?

Most Dogs

When they "TOOT" do that look around like someone else did it.

MY DOG... NOTSOMUCH!

She rips one and then being "The Princess" that she is removes herself from that area.

And moves on.

To another area.

Where it smells better I guess.

This is SO why she doesn't sleep with me.

Your Prayers Worked

He's going to make it!
Thank you for all of your prayers!

Now could you start praying that I win the lottery?

The Date

Was kind of awkward...I'm just saying.

AND THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING!

Been thinking

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy,they just promised it would be worth it.

I Have A Date

And NO it's not with somebody I picked up at Publix!

It's with my husband!

Today!

Feels like it's Christmas!

Dear Allen, Texas,

I love it when I see you on the traffic feed. It makes me feel closer to you guys. You guys are so precious to me. Seriously, I wouldn't have made it through my wedding day without the two of you (so what if you and I were late...we made it).

PLEEEEEEASE start a blog! You'll be really good at it! Promise!

Staying at home like you do with two little ones should result in some blog worthy material. And, your husband is just funny so you can blog about him too.

XOXO,
Florida

About That Assignment...

I GOT AN A!!!!! Yeah Me!
I forgot to tell y'all that I canceled my appointment on Tuesday and rescheduled it for today.

I cancelled for two reasons.

1. Because I hadn't finished "The Homework" and didn't think she'd believe me if I told her "The Dog Ate It."

2. Because it was Taco Tuesday at my neighbor's house (who lives part of the year in Jamaica) and she was making jerk tacos. Call me crazy but that just sounded like more fun than therapy.

I do have more "homework" which I'm not dreading quite as much.

I've been promoted from a PROSTITUTE to a HANDYMAN(is that really a promotion? Don't think they make as much)!

Anyhow, now I need to reflect on those situations that I allowed and figure out the proper tools I will need to do things differently in the future, while focusing on my self esteem, value and worth.

Oh, and Mom...She loved the "Enema for your soul" way to look at it.

On my way home I stopped at my girlfriends and held her 10 day old baby for 45 minutes! Now if that doesn't make you feel good!

I totally want one!

Maybe that's what I'll use my stimulus check on.

The Freaks Come Out At Night

Funny how the guard people in my community will let anyone in.

I guess that's why they're concerned about my garage door being open.

They call me every night...After their drives around the community.

Because I leave my garage door open.

Almost every night.

Next time they call...

I'm gonna tell them:

"Stay at your post and make sure the freaks don't enter, and it will be just fine if I leave my garage door open!"

Besides...Have you met Lola? I double dog dare someone to try and come through my garage door.

Nothing to LOL about here

I left work today and soon became a "Damsel In Distress."

The car wouldn't start, and since my husband is gone I did what any Damsel would've done...

I called Daddy.

Well, he didn't answer.

And I was pissed.

So next, I called my neighbor (who refers to me as his Florida daughter) and is always willing to help.

I gave it a few minutes and tried again...It started.

When I got home,and finally got a hold of Dad,I was still PISSED...

And so the conversation went:

Me: Dad PLEASE get a cell phone(cuz he just won't...he's that guy!) The car wouldn't start today. I needed you. There are certain times that I need you! Like today! Just get one and let me be the only one to have the number..That way no one can bother you but me. Get one in case I need you.

Him: Well, even if I had a cell phone you wouldn't have been able to reach me. I was in the ER...There's no reception there.

My Father's business partner attempted suicide today.

Luckily, My Father is a smart man, and noticed a tone in his voice when his partner called in to say he wouldn't be at the office today...My Father found him in time.

We hope.

They aren't sure if he is going to make it.

SO REAL PRAYERS ARE ASKED FOR NOW!

And I thought that when the car didn't start I was having a bad day.

Makes you think.

Doesn't it?

(Also, makes me realize what a bitch I was about Dad not having a cell phone)

Say a Prayer

For me today at 1:00.

On Tuesday I had a patient call and rip me a new one because she was dissatisfied with the treatment she was receiving from one of the Therapists at our clinic.

Long story short we got everything smoothed out and she's scheduled here today at 1:00.

If there is one thing I don't do...

IT'S KISS ASS!

And when forced to do it I'm just simply not good at it.

So pray for me today that I will be THE BEST BROWN NOSER I can possibly be.

Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirates Life For Me

I just bought this swimsuit from Victoria's Secret for $12.00!
Woo Hoo!
I love a good deal (enter EXTRA40 at checkout for 40% off clearance)
The Skull and Crossbones are perfect for pool parties during football season.
I'm a HUGE Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan!
ARRGH!

I'll Be Stimulated

On or before July 11th.
So the IRS says...
Excellent!

Two days of heavy rain = FROGS!

Oh my God. We have had two days of heavy rain here and the frogs are going NUTS!
Behind my house I have a lake on on side and a preserve on the other.
Well, the preserve is now a community of LOUD ASS FROGS.
They are all I heard ALL.NIGHT.LONG!
So needless to say, I'm a little sleep deprived today and now I'm off to work to deal with the CRAZY ASS OLD PEOPLE.
This should be an interesting...

RAIN = LOUD ASS FROGS = NO SLEEP + CRAZY ASS OLD PEOPLE...

4 hours twenty eight minutes and 3 rain delays later...

That tennis was UN FUCKING BELIEVABLE!
I've decided I want to be one of those ball people.
I don't know their exact title or even how much they make...nor do I really care.
Talk about the best seats in the house though.
I'll chase balls to have those seats.
Wonder where I apply?

Breakfast at Wimbledon

She's having Alpo.
Me...A Mimosa (don't judge it's perfectly acceptable today.)
Show us your magic Federer!
I'm routing for you.
I just think your sexier.
Oh, and the whole wedgie thing that Nadal has going on DRIVES.ME.NUTS!
Get some different underpants.
Or FREE BALL for crying out loud!

Dear Chester,

Our love was strong.

I know.

But, It's over.

Please forgive me but you have been replaced.

I had some new friends over tonight...

New friends=new things...

My new friends introduced me to:

Forgive me.

XOXO,
Life,Love & Lola

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

4TH OF JULY TO ALL OF YOU!

Now get off your computers and go misbehave!

I cannot be trusted

With Cheetos in my house.Period!

It was sometime ago that I realized I had a problem. If I opened a bag regardless of size I.Would.Eat.Them.All! My love affair with Chester was way out of hand. So, I gave them up for Lent.

Well, after Lent was over I realized I really wasn't missing much so I continued to live a Cheeto.Free.Life. And, I was doing just fine.

Until...I decided to send my husband a care package a week and a half ago.

I loaded up on all of his favorites, Cheetos included, and boxed them up with a plan to mail out the next day.

That night while lying in bed reading, I remembered that there were Cheetos in the house. I couldn't fight the urge. Long story short I awoke the next morning in bed with an empty container and orange fingers.

Seriously, I think I ate them in my sleep.

Off to the Post Office...The care package was incomplete. So I stopped to replace the Cheetos that I had devoured.

Everyday I checked to see if my husband received the package. Everyday the answer was no.

Guess what arrived on my front step two days ago (apparently I wrote the wrong address).

So now there are Fucking Cheetos in my house again!

Leave me alone Chester!

A comment worth posting about...

She said:

This is totally unrelated, You deserve to be CHERISHED, you haven't been by anyone but us (mom and dad)and it's about effing time!

I Say:

Thank you! You guys Rock! Thanks for CHERISHING me. It's time for me to focus on "ME" K? Bare with me. I'll be better soon.

The last patient of the day

Just brought us Budweiser Cheladas! Now, if that didn't bring a SMILE to my face! They are my favorite! Have you ever tried them? All I can say is YUM!!!

And...No I'm not drinking on the clock. I put them in the refrigerator.

Really...I did.

Pinky Swear!

This weekend

Is one of my FAVORITE weekends of the year! Between the fireworks, boat races, parades and cookouts. There is all sorts of FUN to be had!

So, I'm putting "the assignment" aside until Monday (cuz Mondays suck anyway) and I'll finish it then.

One of my girlfriends had a baby girl on Tuesday and I get to meet her today. I can't wait! I love babies! I'll try not to steal her.

Today is a better day.
Thank you all for your sweet comments.
Blog friends ROCK!

The Internal Voice of Reason

If you're still sobbing at 11:37 on a school night(aka work night.) That's just wrong. Put on your "BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT." There are a lot more people worse off than you!

Lesson #2: Just Deal

The Voice of Reason

MY PARENTS SAID TONITE:

"WE WANT HIM TO GET BETER, BUT WE ALSO WANT HIM TO GO AWAY."

Lesson # 1: The Truth Hurts

My Dad Rocks

How cool is that?

*ETA* And he is over 60!

Change is good

I just changed the sheets on my bed.

Some of you may do that weekly.

I haven't.

Not since my husband left.

But, it was time...and I was ready.

So, "CHANGE IS GOOD."

Sweet Dreams!

Think of It As What?

The "assignment" is really getting me down. Reliving the past two years really sucks. Putting everything on paper sucks even more because you write it and when you read it again, IT MAKES IT MORE REAL.

I called my Mom to rant.

And so the conversation goes...

Me: "This assignment is draining me."

Her: "The one you talked about on your blog?"

Me: "Yes, it's awful. Reliving the past two years. I can't even blog. This assignment is sucking THE LIFE OUT OF ME."

Her: "Just do it."

Her again: "Think of it as an ENEMA for your soul."

That's one way to look at it.

So, I'm busy finishing my "assignment" that's due on Tuesday. I'll try to blog if there is something worthwile to blog about or... I'll just be on the toilet.

Because a lot of SHIT happened in the past two years!

P.S. If you check out her blog she uses fictious names. But apparently the name she chose for me means "Eternal Hope" in Spanish. Because she is hopefull that I will find true happiness.

Sweet? I think so!

Who Flung Poo?

I'd fling it at the neighbors across the lake. Oh, and at Shannie's Nosy Neighbor!

Who would you fling it at?